On Monday at 1pm, we should find out the results of Xavian's brain tumor tests. We hope and pray for the best for our sweet baby. We've been blessed with two wonderful gifts from God and we hope that they both will have the wonderful lives that we have been blessed to have. Cassie and I both have many emotions and feelings at this point. A few that I'm struggling with include fear (on many counts), worry, doubt, anxiety, sadness, mental fatigue, emotional fatigue, and physical fatigue. Although I want to focus on the positive emotions and feelings, the negative ones are trying to break into my heart. I feel like things in the big picture will be okay, but the day to day grind is what worries me the most. So many questions creep into my mind. Questions like:
- How much pain will my son have to go through?
- What if this affects him negatively long-term?
- What if they tell us he won't make it?
- What if something happens to my oldest son as well?
- Is it safe for us to have more children?
- How will my wife and I cope emotionally?
- Why us?
- Was there something I could have done to prevent this?
- We just bought a home, how can I continue to support my family if this hits us hard financially?
Say a prayer for us, that we will have strength and courage on Monday. Neither my wife or I are on any medications for help with this, rather we're relying fully and soley on the power of God to not only heal our son, but carry us through this as a united family.